Alcoholism And Its Effect On The Family Tetyana Parsons

alcoholism and its effect on the family tetyana parsons december 14, 2003 according to the random house dictionary of the english

Alcoholism and Its Effect on the Family
Tetyana Parsons
December 14, 2003

According to the Random House Dictionary of the English Language
(1966), alcoholism is defined as “ a diseased condition due to the
excessive use of alcoholic beverages” (p.35) Silverstein in his book
“Alcoholism” (1990) gives three criteria that the American Psychiatric
Association listed for physicians to diagnose this disease (p.30) :
1. physiological problems, such as hand tremors and blackouts
2. psychological problems, such as an obsessive desire to drink
3. behavioral problems that disrupt social or work life
Alcoholics can be of any age, background, income level, social, or
ethnic group. Very often alcoholism affects highly educated people.
Several studies even showed that people who lack motivation are less
likely to become addicted to alcohol than highly motivated individuals
(Silverstein, 1990).
Alcoholism is also known as a family disease. Alcoholics may have
young, teenage, or grown-up children; they have wives or husbands;
they have brothers or sisters; they have parents or other relatives.
An alcoholic can totally disrupt family life and cause harmful effects
that can last a lifetime. According to U. S. Department of Health and
Human Services and SAMHSA’s (Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services
Administration) National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug
Information, seventy six million American adults have been exposed to
alcoholism in the family. Alcoholism is responsible for more family
problems than any other single cause. According to Silverstein (1990),
one of every four families has problems with alcohol.
Each member of the family may be affected by alcohol differently.
Parental alcoholism may affect the fetus even before a child is born.
In pregnant women, alcohol is carried to all of the mother’s organs
and tissues, including the placenta, where it easily crosses through
the membrane separating the maternal and fetal blood systems. When a
pregnant woman drinks an alcoholic beverage, the concentration of
alcohol in her unborn baby’s bloodstream is the same level as her own.
A pregnant woman who consumes alcohol during her pregnancy may give
birth to a baby with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS). Fetal Alcohol
Syndrome is one of the three top known causes of birth defects.
According to the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence,
about 5000 babies are born each year with severe damage caused by FAS;
another 35000 babies are born with more mild forms of FAS (Berger,
p.37).
In general, the more severe the mother’s drinking problem during
pregnancy, the more severe the symptoms of FAS in infants. Babies born
with FAS are shorter and underweight compared to normal babies. They
have deformities of the brain and skull, and very characteristic
facial features such as small eye openings; thin upper lips; long,
flat faces; and a long groove in the middle of their upper lips. These
children’s central nervous systems are also damaged. As a result,
children with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome have difficulties in learning,
attention span, judgment, memory, problem-solving, and frequently
behavior problems. Children with FAS may also have problems with
social skills. Their frustration easily turns to anger as they grow
older. These children are hyperactive – unable to sit or stand still
for a long time. They are often impulsive, poorly coordinated, and
have impaired speech and hearing. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and its
effects are permanent, often leading to lifelong problems with mental
retardation.
Parental alcoholism also has severe effects on normal children of
alcoholics. Many of these children have common symptoms such as low
self-esteem, loneliness, guilt, feelings of helplessness, fears of
abandonment, and chronic depression (Berger, 1993). Children of
alcoholics (COAs) may feel responsible for the problems of the
alcoholic and may think they created the problem. COAs often
experience high levels of tension and stress. Young children of
alcoholics may have frequent nightmares, bed wetting, and crying. They
also may not have friends and may be afraid to go to school. Older
children of alcoholics may show such depressive symptoms as obsessive
perfectionism, hoarding, staying by themselves, or being excessively
self-conscious. Studies have shown that because children of alcoholics
feel that they are different from other people, they develop a poor
self-image, in which they closely resemble their alcoholic parents
(Silverstein, 1990, p.75). Also, teenage children of alcoholics may
develop phobias.
COAs more often have problems in school. The stressful environment at
home prevents them from studying. Their school performance may also be
affected by inability to express themselves. Often COAs have
difficulty in establishing relationships with teachers and classmates.
COAs tend more often to have to repeat the academic year and more
often drop out of school. A Unites States government survey, “Exposure
to Alcoholism in the Family”, shows that 30 percent of young women who
didn’t complete high school had grown up in families with alcoholic
parents (Berger, 1993, p.75). The same survey shows that only 20
percent of young men from alcoholic families went to college. Some
COAs have such behavioral problems as lying, stealing, fighting, and
truancy. These children live in extremely unstable home environments.
They never know what to expect from an alcoholic parent. Because they
are unable to predict their parent’s mood, they don’t know how to
behave themselves. Just like non-alcoholic spouses, COAs think they
can stop their alcoholic parent from drinking by hiding liquor, or by
pleasing the parent with good grades in school. They may tiptoe around
the house while the alcoholic parent sleeps, hoping not to awake the
drunken person until enough time has passed for the alcoholic parent
to “sober up”. Children of alcoholics feel guilty for their failure to
save their parents from the effects of alcohol.
Because crime and violence are associated with alcoholism, incest and
battering are common in alcoholics’ families. According to Berger,
almost 30 percent of father – daughter incest cases and 75 percent of
domestic violence cases involve a family member who is an alcoholic.
Incest and battering victims often blame themselves for what has
happened. Because they feel so guilty, ashamed, and helpless, they
themselves may turn to drinking as the way to escape the pain.
“Children of alcoholics are people who have been robbed of their
childhood” (Silverstein, 1990, p.75). Children of alcoholics, if
untreated as children, carry their problems into later life.
Adult children of alcoholics (ACOAs) often don’t relate their problems
to having grown up in a family with an alcoholic parent. Many of them
have problems of depression, aggression, or impulsive behavior. Some
studies have shown that ACOAs have problems with abuse of different
psychoactive substances, and difficulty in establishing healthy
relationships with others. They are frequently failures as parents
themselves, often make poor career choices, and almost all ACOAs have
a negative self-image (Berger, 1993, p.67). Adult children of
alcoholics often have feelings of worthlessness and failure. They also
may have problems with family responsibility because their alcoholic
parent was irresponsible and didn’t provide them with basic children’s
needs.
Many ACOAs have problems with intimacy, because their previous
experience has taught them not to trust other people. They may also
think that if they will love someone, this person will hurt them in
the future, just the same as their alcoholic parent did.
Unfortunately, research has shown that many ACOAs often find
themselves intimately involved with someone who is an alcoholic, or in
some way abusive (Wekesser, 1994, p.143). ACOAs are four times more
likely than children of non-alcoholics to develop alcoholism. Genetic
factors play a major role in the development of alcoholism. Another
factor is inability to deal with stress in a healthy way. Joseph A.
Califano, former United States Secretary of Health and Human Services,
pointed out some other facts about ACOAs. He says, “sons of alcoholics
see doctors more often than those raised in non-alcoholic homes.
Further, they have higher rates of such psychological or mental
disorders as anxiety, depression, and introversion” (Berger, p.69).
Berger also states that adult daughters of alcoholics tend to have
more reproductive problems and see their gynecologists and
obstetricians more often. In addition, they have higher rates of an
eating disorder – bulimia.
Alcoholism also has negative effects on the spouse of an alcoholic.
The spouse may have feelings of hatred, self-pity, avoidance of social
contacts, may suffer exhaustion and become physically or mentally ill
(Berger, 1993).Very often the spouse has to perform the roles of both
parents. Family responsibilities shift from two parents to one parent.
As a result, the non-alcoholic parent may be inconsistent, demanding,
and often neglect the children. Having financial difficulties is
another issue that families of alcoholics have to deal with. The
family may have to give up certain privileges because of the large
amount of money spent on alcohol and also possible joblessness. A
survey, “Exposure to Alcoholism in the Family”, conducted in 1988
suggested that alcoholism is a major factor of premature widowhood
(Berger, 1993, p.13). Alcoholism also is one of the major reasons for
divorce.
Today, experts who study alcoholic families know that family and
marital problems often start because of alcoholism, but they also
learned that spouses and children may contribute to the drinker’s
habit and make it worse. Some of the families allow heavy drinking to
continue rather than deal with serious family problems, and keep the
habit going in exchange for keeping the family together. Denial is an
essential problem for alcoholics and family members. Family members
use denial to rationalize the drinker’s alcohol dependency. In the
beginning, denial is understandable because every family loves and
wants to protect its members, but there comes a time when denial
negatively affects family members. When family members deny the
obvious and refuse to look for help, their behavior can trigger
multiple emotional problems in the children of the family.
Members of alcoholic’s families very often become codependent.
“Codependency is an unconscious addiction to another person’s abnormal
behavior” (Wekesser, 1994, p.168). Most alcoholics have periods when
they stop drinking for a short while and seemingly do well, leading
the codependent person to believe that the problem can be solved.
Often people who don’t know the alcoholic very well don’t suspect any
problem. The alcoholic’s codependent family members do everything
possible to hide the problem, preserve the family’s prestige and
project the image of a “perfect family”. The spouse and children may
avoid making friends and bringing other people home, in order to hide
problems caused by alcoholism. Codependent members often forget about
their own needs and desires. They devote their lives to attempt to
control or cure the drinker. Unknowingly, codependent family members
often become “enablers”. An enabler is “a person who unknowingly helps
the alcoholic by denying the drinking problem exists and helping the
alcoholic to get out of troubles caused by his drinking” (Silverstein,
1990, p.65). The enabler will clean up the alcoholic’s vomit and make
excuses to his or her boss, teacher, or friends. The enabler lies for
the alcoholic, and thus enables the alcoholic to continue drinking.
While alcoholism treatment programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous help
people with alcohol dependence to stop drinking and improve their life
styles, family and marital therapy and various self-help groups help
alcoholic families to improve their own well-being. Families of
alcoholics need treatment just as much as alcoholics. Marriage and
family counselors can help with the tensions created in the
alcoholic’s home. School counselors can provide information and
support to adolescents who have family problems because of parental
alcoholism. Therapists in hospitals and mental health centers, and
state-run alcohol programs provide information and services for
alcohol related problems. According to Silverstein (1990), Al-Anon and
Alateen are two of the most successful organizations helping families
of alcoholics. Al-Anon is designed to mainly help the spouses of
alcoholics, while Alateen is designed to help children of the
alcoholic. Both organizations’ philosophy is based upon Alcoholic
Anonymous’s Twelve Step Recovery Program. The main goal of these
organizations is to help family members understand that they are not
responsible for an alcoholic’s drinking problems and that family
members’ recovery does not depend upon the alcoholic’s recovery.
Alcohol affects each member of the family – from the unborn child to
the alcoholic’s spouse. Its far-reaching affects result in not only
physical problems for the alcoholics, but also may result in physical
and psychological problems for other members of the family. Treatment
is complicated and often is not completely successful. Even if the
alcoholic himself ultimately reforms, the family members who were so
greatly affected may not themselves ever recover from the problems
inflicted upon them.
References
Berger, G. (1993), Alcoholism and the family. New York: Franklin Watts
Silverstein, H. (1990), Alcoholism. New York: Franklin Watts
Wekesser, C. (1994), Alcoholism. San Diego: Greenhaven Press, Inc.
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and SAMHSA’s National
Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information. Retrieved October 15,
2003, from http://www.health.org/nongovpubs/coafacts/